What does it all mean?

For the past week I have been thinking a lot about what everything and anything means.
There's so much going on in my life and sometimes I forget to take a step back and just breathe.
During bible study last night, the leader told us to write down these questions;
"Who do you want to be?"
"How are you going to get there?"
"What will it cost you?"

Who do I want to be?
Man, this question is constantly on my mind, ALL of the time.

I used to want to be this really beautiful, attractive, girl. I used to obsess over my looks and how I acted around certain people. I wanted to be popular, I wanted boys to think I'm pretty, I wanted them to want me. I wanted to be accepted.
But, I've realized over the last year that, I don't need other people's acceptance.
I have God's acceptance. He loves me for who I am, and that is ultimately the best thing that I could ever ask for.

I want to live my life, out loud for Christ.
I want to be a leader, I want to be a good, strong Christian that people come to for advice.
I want to be different. I want people to be able to tell I have the Spirit with me at all times!
I want to be independent. I want to not have to be able to rely on anyone except Christ Himself.

How am I going to get there and what is it going to cost me?
It's going to cost me, well; most of my friends.
I'm going to have to change my attitude. I'm going to have to work for it. I'm going to have to discipline myself.
And i'm okay with all of this. I want to change so I can be the very best Ashley I can be.
I just can't wait for my story to unfold, for it to be written out. I can't wait to be the person I want to be.

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. 3 You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 2Corinthians 3:2