Tonight, I am going to be writing about a lot. Not a poem in any sorts, just blogging/venting/talking to myself (I'm good at all three).
So uhh; I lost a good friend this week. Not to a death or anything tragic like that. Its kind of a funny story, really. But not one of those funny stories where you actually laugh out loud. Its like one of those funny stories where someone calls it a funny story.... but it's not actually funny.. at all. But anyways, I lost one of my friends because of the things she was saying about me. Usually when people talk negatively about me i dont care...at all. It just really starts to bug me when people talk about my faith and what I believe in (thats exactly what she did). I dont exactly understand how my relationship with our Father has anything to do with anyone else... but she took it among herself to tell multiple people her feelings of MY relationship with God and how it was FAKE. I guess that just hurt my feelings a lot and I don't want to have friends who think that poorly/bad of me.
"Useless people make evil plans, and their words are like a burning fire. A useless person causes trouble, and a gossip ruins friendship." Proverbs 16:27
So lately, Ive just been feeling really down about life, in general. I'm starting to realize that it's because Ive just been really lacking in my relationship with God. Today is the first time I have pulled out my bible and actually read it in... two weeks. Is it silly to say that I was afraid to open it again because of how long I havent?
Writing this post so far has put me in such a better mood about everything. I'm really seeing how I should be more optimistic instead of pesimistic... even if I'm upset!!!
"I have heard your prayer and seen your tears, so I will heal you." 2kings 20:5
There has been this thing bothering me lately; and I just can't get out of my head. I look on facebook and I see all over all these higschool couples and how "inlove" they are. Even after a week or two of just dating... theyre "inlove."
Am I abnormal or wierd to feel like relationships are a waste right now? yeah... sometimes I get lonely/jealous of my friends and their boyfriends but that is rarely. I just feel like sometimes something is wrong with me or I'm not a normal girl because I dont want a relationship with a boy like that. It just seems like if youre "inlove" you have to give up a lot of yourself to the other person.. I guess I'm not ready to do that yet.
"You wash the outside of your cups and dishes, but inside they are full of things you got by cheating others and by pleasing only yourselves. You are blind! First make the inside of the cup clean, and then the outside of the cup can be truly clean." Mathew 23:25
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